I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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