The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
