it was like his penis was on wheels.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
