there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize