sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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