she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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