Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize