the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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