You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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