yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
