At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I hope mine doesn't look like that
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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