I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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