It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
