The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
