none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
