mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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