i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
