A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
