Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
