FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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