Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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