We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
