WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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