Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
