it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
