Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
