im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
