i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
