i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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