I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Randomize