doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
