She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
This is the high leading the old right now
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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