Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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