Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
