i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Drake has all the answers
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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