She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
