Those balls look pretty dangerous.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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