The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
