Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
well I can't set my house on fire every night
one might say we're banned from that church
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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