Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
