Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i think i just lost a toe
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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