somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
