Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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