I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
