if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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