Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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