My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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