No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
