Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
So many bounce houses so little time
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
