Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
