I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
