let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize