Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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