I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
