I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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