i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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