why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
