She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
