Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
