So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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