My sheets look like a crime scene.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
